Chapter 8
1063words
Today is my last day existing as the "second personality."
Yesterday's explanation made me understand everything, and also realize the terrifying truth: since I am the second personality, when I accept the truth, I will begin to disappear.
The foundation of a second personality's existence is denial and avoidance of reality.
Once I acknowledge that the couple are my biological parents, admit that I am a patient who needs treatment, the psychological defense mechanism that created me will collapse.
The man's name on the property deed, those seemingly "forged" identity documents, the two "me" in the photo albums, the woman's knowledge of details about my life, my blurry childhood memories, those takeout containers and medications.
Every suspicious point now has a reasonable explanation.
It's not the world deceiving me, but my brain protecting itself, creating a complete second identity to escape some trauma.
Now, it's broad daylight.
I walked into the living room and saw "Mom" preparing breakfast. Today she looked particularly tired, her eyes were a bit red and swollen, obviously she didn't sleep well last night.
"Mom." I called softly. This was the first time I genuinely called her Mom.
She turned around, and tears immediately welled up in her eyes. That expression of surprise mixed with heartache is something only a real mother would have.
"Michael? You..."
"Mom, I want to ask you something." I sat down at the dining table, "Am I really sick?"
Her face instantly turned pale, the spatula in her hand trembling slightly.
"Am I really a mentally ill patient?" My voice choked, then I took a deep breath again, "Tell me the truth. I'm about to disappear, before that happens, I want to know what really happened.
Mom's tears finally fell: "Michael..."
" Dad sighed deeply and sat down across from me.
"Three months ago, you—the real you—suddenly developed severe symptoms of dissociative identity disorder due to excessive work pressure and emotional trauma. You started not recognizing us, insisted that we were imposters, and tried to escape from home."
"The doctor said that in such situations, patients sometimes develop a second personality as a protective mechanism. This second personality creates a complete identity recognition and memory system to escape the reality that the primary personality cannot bear."
Mom's voice was completely choked with emotion, "Do you know how painful it is to watch your own child treat us like strangers, even enemies?" I felt a sharp pain in my head. Some memories began to emerge, but they didn't belong to me; they belonged to the original personality.
I felt a sharp headache. Some memories surfaced, but they weren't mine—
A young man working overtime in the office late into the night.
A son suffering from his lover's betrayal.
A child who finally broke down crying in his mother's arms.
These memories are becoming clearer, while my own consciousness begins to blur. "I can feel it," I said softly, "he's coming back."
Dad immediately stood up. "We're going to the hospital right now. The doctor said if the two personalities start to merge, it must happen in a professional environment."
The car drove very fast. In the back seat, I felt my consciousness gradually dissipating. Those memories belonging to the second personality—the suspicion toward my parents, the fear of reality, the confusion about identity—were fading away, replaced by other deeper emotions.
Love for parents.
Attachment to life.
Desire for recovery.
These emotions don't belong to me, but they are so strong, so real.
【End of Medical Record】
Patient Michael Wilson (pseudonym) was admitted to the hospital urgently accompanied by family members. According to the family's description, the patient's second personality began showing signs of merging with the primary personality this morning.
The patient remained conscious on the hospital bed but displayed obvious symptoms of personality switching.
Sometimes he addresses his family members as "Dad and Mom," showing strong attachment; at other times he exhibits unfamiliarity, asking questions like "Who am I?" or "Where is this place?"
At 4:30 PM, the patient requested paper and pen, saying he wanted to write something down.
The following is the handwritten record left by the patient:
If anyone can see these words, please tell this couple who are my body's parents: I know I'm not their real son.
I am just a shadow temporarily existing to protect him.
But during these few brief days in the hospital, I've begun to understand what it means to have a home.
I've felt the care mother puts into preparing breakfast every morning, and the concern and love in father's eyes whenever he looks at me.
Though I am a stranger to them, their love for me is genuine.
I am about to disappear, but I am not sad.
Because I know the real him will return, will love you again, and will once more be your son.
Thank you for treating me as your real child.
Thank you for not giving up.
Please tell the real Michael: he has the best parents in the world.
Goodbye.
--- 【Chief Physician Summary】
This case involves dissociative identity disorder triggered by post-traumatic stress disorder. Under unbearable psychological pressure, the patient's brain spontaneously created a second personality with complete cognitive abilities as an escape mechanism.
What is deeply disturbing is that the second personality exhibited autonomous consciousness and emotional cognitive abilities far beyond expectations during treatment. This personality not only possesses an independent memory system and values, but even displayed near-human fear, acceptance, and altruistic emotions when realizing it would be "eliminated."
This raises an ethical question we are reluctant to deeply consider: when a "false" personality develops such a complete sense of self-awareness, are we curing a disease or murdering an innocent existence?
The "patience and care" displayed by the patient's family throughout the entire treatment process, to some extent, resembled more like a final consolation to a death row inmate about to be executed. They knew what they were doing—to save one son, they had to kill another "son."
The written records left by the second personality before its disappearance have been permanently sealed. Based on ethical considerations, we do not recommend using this case for medical school teaching, nor do we recommend disclosing any details to the public.
Some truths, perhaps, should never be touched.
Case Number: 2023-PSY-0325
Attending Physician: Dr. William
Case Closure Date: May 3, 2023
Confidentiality Level: Maximum
