Chapter 190
1311words
"I needed some fresh air and I'm sharing a room with Tim and he has a girl over"
"Yeah Paige is in my room right now too"
"Then why are you out here?" because I'd literally rather be anywhere else than in that room with her
"We got into a fight and I left." I know he wants to smile but I can tell he's trying really hard not to. As we sit there what he said yesterday start to replay in my head again "can I ask you something?"
"Took you long enough" he doesn't reply "sure, ask away" "You like me?"
"Yes"
"And you think I'm gay?"
"I don't think anything, only you know if you are or not" not the answer I wanted
"You said that you know I feel something too, what does that mean?"
"Luke it means that I notice that you stare back at me when I look at you. I know you look in the locker room when I'm changing"
"That can just be a coincidence"
"Yeah if it happened once or twice, but I always catch you" I can't deny it "I always figured the only reason you were nice to me is because you're a nice guy and you felt pity for me"
"It is"
"Except even the nice guys at school are dicks to me, you could've been a dick if you wanted" "You're mistaking my kindness-" he rushes his lips to mine kissing me as I talk. Oh my god, I need to
stop it I have to stop him now! I push him away "Stop!" I stare into his eyes searching for an answer as to why he kissed me "you kissed me!" I panic and he doesn't say anything
"why would you kiss me, Evan?!"
"Because you wanted me to!" he stands up off the ledge
"Are you insane, why would you think something like that" I do the same
"Luke notice how long it took before you broke it up" he moves closer to me "you wanted me to" he slowly comes closer and closer until I could feel his body against mine. Our foreheads are touch and we're staring into each others eyes. My breathing picks up as I try my best to not freak out "Luke don't deny it" he whispers as our faces are still touching.
He leans closer and closer our lips are touching and it felt good but I can't let this happen "stop" I whisper as our lips touch "don't do this"
I say against his lip but he doesn't stop he continues to kiss me "Evan.." I say but instead of finishing the sentence I just kiss him back. He wraps his arms around my neck as we kiss, the kiss was so much that it made me a little weak in the knees. It's nothing like I've ever felt with a girl, Evan kissing me feels so much better. We stand there just pulling the air from each others lungs, I feel his wet and warm tongue on mine and I like it. His lips feel so supple that I wouldn't want them anywhere but between my lips. He pulls on my jacket and I can feel him grind his front onto mines. I like it.
After about 5 minutes of us making out Evan pulls himself away laughing "whoa" he says staring at me. I, on the other hand, had no words, I just made out with a guy. How do I say that out loud? He stands there looking at me while I look back at him quietly "say something"
What can I say? I can't act mad because I wanted it to happen, I can't react in other ways because I don't know what this means. "Am I gay?" I ask quietly
He smiles "can't answer that for you" I walk away heading to the door "hey wait!" Evan runs after me and gets in front of me "what are you doing?"
"Leaving before you kiss me again"
"You wanted that to happen as much as I did" "I asked you to stop and you didn't"
"And you could've pushed me away. Gosh, why are you so in denial, we kissed, you liked it, so what?"
"Evan I'm not like you if people find out about this-" "I won't tell anyone" he cuts me off
"And I'm supposed to trust you?"
"You're going to have to. I won't say anything to anyone" what if he's lying. "I have to get back to Paige," I say and quickly walk away.
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I get back to my room and Paige is gone, thank god I need to be alone right now. I can't stop thinking about that kiss, how good it felt, how much I wanted it to happen again. Evan is right I am in denial but that's only because I know how fucked up the kids at school really are, I would never hear the end of it. What do I do? I'm not going to sleep tonight and I probably won't be able to focus on the game tomorrow. Why did Evan have to kiss me and confuse everything?
I take a shower and decide to get in bed. The only way I'm going to actually get over this is if I try and get some sleep.
It's now almost 2 am and I'm thinking about Evan more than I was before. I really want to kiss him again, I can't get the taste of his lips out of my mind, as much as I want to I just can't. Sitting up in my bed I look around for the answer and the only thing that pops in my head is '430' Evan's room. I should go over there right now and whatever happens, happens! But what if Tim's there, what then? Fuck I really want to though. I stand out of bed putting my pants on and a t-shirt. heading for the front door I don't think about how bad what I'm about to do really is, I just let my feet lead whatever happens next just happens.
I walk down the hall and I get to his room. Standing there not knowing what to do I panic, what am I doing here? 'just knock!' I yell to myself and the next thing I knew I was knocking on the door. I knock a few more times to no answer, I guess he's asleep. I turn to walk away but I hear the door quietly open "hey" he whispers coming out of his room and shutting the door behind him. Without thinking I just kiss him right there in the hallway. I couldn't help it I was going to say something first but I just saw him and I completely forgot. We stand right there in the hallway leaning on his door kissing
Someone's going to see "is Tim in there?" I ask against his lips and he nods not bothering to pull away from mine. "We can go to my room, I'm alone"
"Ok" he pulls away and smiles. We walk back to my room and as soon as we get in and shut the door I attack him with my mouth. We didn't even make it to the bed, just stood right there against the door as I kiss his mouth and alongside his neck making him moan slightly.
"I like that" he moans out as I kiss and bite his neck and he pulls on my pants. "Want to spend the night here?" I ask him as I lean on top of him against the door
"Yes please," he replies then kisses me. I don't know what's going to happen tomorrow but I know I'll
enjoy what's about to happen tonight.
